In a world full of automated messages, forms, and generic invitations, getting someone to stop for a few minutes to talk — and share valuable information — has become a true art. And that’s exactly what this article is about: how to approach, engage, and lead authentic conversations, especially when you need real feedback from clients, partners, or experts.
Cold Emails Don’t Work (At Least, Not on Their Own)
Sending cold messages — the famous cold emails — may seem like the fastest way to start a dialogue. But the truth is, they’re not very effective. On average, out of every three people you contact, only one replies.
Why? Because there’s no personal connection. There’s no context, no empathy. People are bombarded with requests every day and have learned to filter out anything that feels impersonal or generic.
But there’s good news: with a few simple techniques, you can drastically increase your response rate — and turn cold contacts into warm conversations.
The Three Golden Rules to Be Heard
1. Be Brief
No one reads long emails from strangers. Be direct: four to seven sentences are enough to explain who you are, why you’re reaching out, and what you want.
Less is more — especially when you want to be noticed.
2. Be Personal
People don’t like talking to robots. Show that you truly care: mention how you found that person, why you chose them, and what makes them relevant to the topic of your conversation.
You can use a template, of course, but at least one sentence must be personalized. That small difference changes everything.
3. Be Valuable
It’s not just about what you want — it’s about what they gain from it. Show that the conversation is also useful for them: that their opinion matters, that you truly value their time.
People like to feel helpful — and if possible, offer something in return (recognition, a citation, an invitation, or a symbolic incentive).
Bonus: Two Details That Make All the Difference
- Make it clear you’re not selling anything. This removes barriers and reduces initial resistance.
- Make the person feel special. Show that they have something unique to contribute — and treat the interaction like a VIP conversation.
How to Write an Email That Works
A good email follows a simple but powerful structure:
- Introduction (1–2 personal sentences): Say where you found the person and mention a problem they seem to face.
- Reason for Contact (2 short sentences): Explain that you’re trying to better understand this problem and that you need their help.
- Closing (1 clear sentence):
Proposing a specific time makes it easier for them to reply. And if you prefer, include a scheduling link — this reduces friction and speeds up the “yes.”
During the Conversation: Your Role Is to Listen
Once the person agrees to talk, comes the most important part: don’t talk about your product. The focus should be on their problems and experiences, not your solutions.
Remember: “Customers may not know what they want, but they never hide what they need.”
Here are some essential rules:
- Talk less, listen more. The interviewee should speak at least 70% of the time. Many of the best insights come from unexpected stories.
- Avoid personal opinions. Your role is not to agree or disagree — it’s to understand.
- Create a comfortable environment. Don’t judge, don’t react negatively, and maintain a neutral, curious tone.
- Guide, don’t force. If the conversation stalls, use this magic phrase:
The Questions That Matter
Every good interview should ultimately help answer five fundamental questions:
- Who is your customer?
- What do they do, and what are their habits?
- When do they need your product or solution?
- Where do they use it?
- Why do they need it?
Each conversation reveals a piece of this puzzle. The more pieces you gather, the clearer your understanding of your market and the opportunities that truly matter.
Conclusion: The Power of Listening
Getting people to talk isn’t about manipulation — it’s about building bridges. It’s about creating space for the other person to feel heard, valued, and understood.
When you adopt this mindset, your interactions stop being “interviews” and become genuine conversations. And it’s within these conversations that the best products, the most innovative ideas, and the strongest professional relationships are born.
Final tip: If you want people to talk, listen with curiosity, not with intent. The difference lies in empathy — and it’s empathy that turns simple contacts into true connections.